The Fever

Let’s talk about “The Fever”.

 

I feel like the fever comes on slow and steady. You don’t really even realize it’s starting to take you over until one day you’re in a dry sweat, heart pumping, fuzzy daze and then you’re forced to recognize you’ve got it bad—real bad. To be certain we are on the same page, I’m not taking about the awful flu that has been going around for months, I’m talking about something perhaps more dangerous* —BABY FEVER! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

*Baby fever is actually NOT more dangerous because I know people have died from the flu this year so I’m not trying to lessen how awful it has been for some families. Please don’t take anything I say to heart..ever….

 

Baby fever man, one day you’re selling or giving away all your kid’s old baby toys and the next you’re on Pinterest searching for cute new nursery ideas.

You tell yourself,

“It’s not a big deal. I’m mindlessly scrolling through Pinterest”

“I didn’t sniff that baby’s head 30 times. It was only 20 and that’s perfectly acceptable.”

“I’m only looking up baby names for like maybe 10 years down the road. Who cares? I’m fine. I’ve got this under control.”

But you don’t have it under control. You don’t and that’s okay. It’s only natural. It’s not even technically your fault. If it were not for everyone else posting newborn pictures, baby bumps, gender reveals, or running into an old friend with their SUPER SQUISHY ADORABLE BABY this wouldn’t be a problem. But just like any other fever, once you’ve subjected yourself to it, it’s only a matter of time before it gets you too.

Lucy’s whole class at school ended up passing around Flu A, but before it got to Lucy I tried all the preventive measures I could to make sure it wouldn’t catch up to our family. Vitamin C, elderberry, essential oils, 9lbs of hand sanitizer, you name it, but still the Flu caught up with us. Same with baby fever..it will find youuuuu.

Every time I get on social media or go somewhere and run into the CHUNKIEST most EDIBLE baby in the world, I have to remind myself it’s just the fever talking. Teething is the worst. No– gassy babies are the worst! I have a completely new appreciation for sleep now; I cannot go messing up that relationship. Oh and my daycare bill is enough to make a grown man cry—ask my husband. Oh and let’s not forget the anxiety I now have to deal with every single day and I want to multiple it by 2?! Obviously I’ve lost my dang mind.

I have long periods of lucidness. There are hours, days, and weeks now when I’m not affected by the fever and I remember how satisfied I am with a family of 3. Sometimes I hear parenting stories and I am reminded how fortunate I am to have survived that phase and how I’m grateful that chapter of my parenting book is closed, but boy those times when the fever spikes..it’s something else.

Sometimes I’ll convince myself that two babies actually wouldn’t be any different than having one because Lucy would be like a full blown preschooler by the time the baby is born and she’d be so self-sufficient and helpful that it’d be like having free help. I’ll also tell myself that the next time I have a baby I’ll be less stressed about every.little.thing. Baby doesn’t want to eat for the third night in a row? NO PROBLEM. It’ll live. The baby has been screaming for 2 hours straight now? NO PROBLEM. I’m now a proud owner of ear plugs. Baby isn’t performing open-heart surgery and doing long division by 11 months? NO PROBLEM. I don’t think you need a PhD to run Splash Mountain at Disney World and get the rest of the family in for free.

Yea I don’t know guys. I guess what I’m trying to confess is that I occasionally get a low grade baby fever from time to time. It’s not so bad that you need to be staring at my stomach trying to figure out if my shirt is just too tight or if it’s a baby bump, but you might want to keep your newborns away from me or I’ll snatch them and eat them right on up.

So there. You win universe. The baby fever has infected my house. Excuse me while I go remind myself that still even last night my 2 ½ year old decided she didn’t want to sleep in her bed anymore at 3AM….

365 days (PART ONE)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Babies change a lot in their first year of life. They go from growing inside your body to walking talking little people. Looking at parenting from the outside that might seem not at all interesting just plainly obvious, but I think as parents we really appreciate and are really mesmerized by how quickly these humans grow and learn in what seems to be such a short period of time. Reflecting on this last year I just feel like my eyes have been opened to all the possibilities, surprises, and growth that can happen in only 365 days.

When we brought Lucy home from the hospital we were clueless. There were days, weeks, months where I was treading water just to survive.  Fast forward to today and we are still very clueless, but our days and nights are so much more enjoyable. We are no longer just surviving, we are thriving.

Lucy isn’t the only one changing around here. I’ve spent some time thinking about how I’ve evolved over the past year. I’ve surprised myself a lot in how I view being a mother, how I view other moms, and how I view myself now.

When I first learned I was pregnant it was the start to my metamorphosis. Almost instantly it became less about me and more about my child. Everything I put in my body, everything I read about, every decision I made was no longer about what I wanted, but what was best for my unborn child. I’m not the most selfless person so to make changes in my life almost instantly for someone I never met before is pretty dramatic for someone like me, but most of the time it was never a thought it was automatic.

When Lucy was born there was a period of time where I thought I somehow broke that motherly instinct I once had. I was confused, lost, frustrated, angry, all these feelings that I didn’t believe mothers should feel when they first bring their beautiful healthy baby home from the hospital. It took me almost 5 months to admit my struggle, and once I did it was like the light clicked back on. The feelings I had in the beginning didn’t make me a bad mom, it just made me a normal mom. My motherly instincts never went away, they were just hidden in the fog of doubt in my mind.

The first six months of being a mother was the roughest crash course of my life. I believe in the midst of most of our adversity is when we discover the most about ourselves though. I realized that even I have a breaking point. I realized that asking for help can be healthy. I realized that there might not be such a thing as the perfect parent. I realized that being a mom doesn’t give you unlimited super powers. Moms are allowed to feel exhausted. Moms are allowed to feel overwhelmed. Moms sometimes feel like they aren’t doing anything right. Moms can feel scared. Moms can feel all of these things and ADMIT OPENLY that they feel this way and it doesn’t make them a bad parent. It just simply makes them a parent. Maybe even a better parent than they were yesterday.

I’ve also surprised myself with how much I’ve come to observe my surrounds when I’m with my baby. Let me explain. You can shave your hair off, color your scalp purple, change your skin tone, grow 10 inches, speak in a foreign accent, and be wearing a clown suit and I probably wouldn’t notice. Seriously. I’m that unobservant of my surroundings. Yet when I’m in mommy mode—I can spot a choking hazard from 632 miles away. I have laughed at myself on numerous occasions when my automatic mommy instincts just come out. It’s even funnier to me that I have a better sense of danger or change in Lucy’s behavior, eating habits, or whatever than my husband does. He’s usually the more logic thinker, he notices things way before I do, and to be frank-he uses his God given common sense, while I……I’m lucky I haven’t burnt a house down yet. However when it comes to Lucy, it’s like our personalities have somehow switched. I’m always thinking through each scenario, planning ahead, spotting potential dangers, reading labels, doing research, paying an extra extra EXTRA close eye when I’m with Lucy.  I just never in my life thought I’d be capable of being so adult like. 😉

 

Before I became a mom I always had the attitude that I didn’t care what anyone thought about me. I didn’t care how people judged my behavior, my clothes, my hair, I couldn’t care less about other people’s opinions of me. That’s changed a good bit now. I don’t care how people see me personally. I embarrass myself too often to even try to pretend to be cool. I do care however, how people see me as a mom. I might care a little too much about that.

Friends would make jokes all the time about what I’d be like as a mom. They’d say that I’d be that mom that accidently leaves her baby at the grocery store. They’d joke and say that Dustin would probably end up taking on most of the responsibility with raising the baby. I think a lot of people didn’t really expect me to really grow up and do what is expected when becoming a parent. These jokes never really bothered me, most of the time I was laughing right along with them. I can admit that I’m very forgetful and clumsy. I have a tendency to be lazy and airheaded. I also can act really immature and don’t always make the best choices. I know this about myself and Lord help me I can rarely hide these not so flattering attributes, but I try not to carry those personality traits to how I am as a mother.

I try very hard to be the most responsible parent I can be. I try to keep an extra close eye on Lucy at all times, feed her the best food possible, play and help her learn every moment I can, and make all the best choices I can for her. I do all this because I love her so very much. I only want what is absolutely best for her. With social media though, it’s ridiculous how judgmental other people can be. You really can’t win. Social media can get me so paranoid. I’ll spend hours thinking of all the ways someone can call me a bad mom because of a picture or status I want to post about Lucy.  If I post a picture of the cauliflower nuggets I made her for dinner is someone going to think I’m being too strict about her diet? If I post a status about her diaper rash are other people going to think I’m being inappropriate or a bad mom because I didn’t change her diaper fast enough? If I post a picture with her having a cut on her nose are people going to think I’m being too careless with her? If I post a picture of her playing in her walker are they going to point out that uncovered outlet? If her grandma posts too many pictures watching her while I work are they going to assume that I am never with my child and she’s being raised by her grandparents? If I post a status about how I’m having a date night and drinks with my husband are people going to think we are alcohols and unfit to be parents?  —-This is about half of the questions that run through my mind in the first hour before I post anything on social media. I seriously just looked at a picture I posted of Lucy yesterday and it sort of looks like she has a runny nose and I kid you not I just thought, “Oh man I hope people don’t think I let her get sick all the time.” LIKE THAT IS SOMETHING COMPLETELY IN MY CONTROL!? It’s sickening. Before I became a mom you could make all the assumptions you wanted to about me. Now, whew…caring about what other people think is draining…

 

 

REAL HONEST TALK RIGHT NOW:

Before I became a mom I was the harshest critic of what other mothers would post on social media. I didn’t have a clue what it was like to raise a baby, but I was so judgmental of what other moms were feeding their kids, what they were letting their kids crawl into, what they posted about their children, etc.  I don’t really like to admit that because I don’t really consider myself a judgmental person, but yet I’d always say to myself “Oh I’m NEVER going to do that when I have a baby!” “I’m NEVER going to allow my child to eat that!” “I’m NEVER going to post about my child like they do!”

I thought I’d be “better” than some other mothers I saw on social media. I had a vision in my mind about how I was going to be as a mom. I thought I’d breastfeed for the first year, make my own organic baby food, no sugar EVER, environmentally friendly baby wipes, no television EVER, basically I was going to be the definition of a Pinterest mom.

That perfect mommy dream didn’t really work out for me though. I had to give up breastfeeding at around 4 ½ months, I didn’t make my own baby puree once, my child has had ice-cream WITH sugar in it, her first birthday party is themed around a television show, and we rarely buy environmentally friendly wipes.  I have never left Lucy at Target though, so I DO have that going for me lol..My Pinterest mommy goal was a bust.

Now that I am a mom…boy do I think twice before I judge how another mom gets through the day. I’ve read too many new stories about horrible horrible horrible parents here lately. No, not about parents who don’t feed their babies an organic diet, but stories about how they sell their children for drugs, leave their child on the side of the road as punishment, beat their children, etc. Just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me to pass such harsh judgement on a mom that gives her child juice when there are such disgusting unfit parents out in the world.

With social media it’s so easy to compare our lives to other people. Sometimes it feels like being a mom in the social media world is a game of comparison, competition, and judgement. The saddest part is we are playing these games with other moms the people who should be understanding, sympathetic, and on our team. We should really be in this together. It takes a village.

 

I’ll do a part two in a few days…maybe….maybe by the end of the month.

Happy Hump Day!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Monday Dustin and I will celebrate two years of marriage!!

I couldn’t be more thankful to be married to the most selfless man on the planet.

We’ve gone through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in the history of our relationship. It’s been a tough, but blessed year.

I think our relationship has grown more over the past year than the past six and a half. Pregnancy was a real eye opening experience on the importance of having a kind, thoughtful, and supportive partner. There is no one else I would have wanted to experience the highs and lows of pregnancy with. It really made us so much closer, talking about our future as a family, how we wanted to raise our baby, and what our hopes and dreams were for Lucy. We realized how important it is to continue to work together to make the best life possible for our daughter. I started to realize as we talked about the kind of person we wanted Lucy to grow up to be, that I wanted our relationship to be a model relationship for her. If Lucy wants to get married and have a family of her own one day, she needs a good example of what that relationship should be like. Dustin and I have made a commitment together to always show each other respect and kindness so Lucy knows how to treat her partner and what to expect from them to have a healthy and happy relationship.

We also had to experience some pretty scary moments together. When they were worried about Lucy’s growth, I really had to lean on him more than ever before. I cried more times in those nine months than I did our entire relationship before then. He’s had to talk me off the cliff several times. Constantly reassuring me that everything was going to be okay, and no matter what we would work through it all together. That’s the most important thing he kept telling me, “We’re in this together.” To know that I wasn’t alone in this crazy experience and to have someone as calm and reassuring as Dustin made me feel a million times better. He will constantly tell me, “We’re a team.” That’s what marriage is supposed to be right? A team. All the uncertainties, all the possibilities, all the unknowns, we can take on whatever as long as we are together.

Parenthood has strengthened our relationship like nothing else before. I can honestly say I could NOT do this without him. I couldn’t. There would be no way. No no no way. This is nothing like I have ever experienced before. It’s a two person gig this parenthood thing. Those moms and dads that do it alone are amazing, because there is noooo way I could. It’s not just the help with the diapers and bottles that I appreciate about Dustin, it’s mostly his emotional support. The daily, “you’re doing a great job,” “you’re an excellent mom,” and “I appreciate you” have been a continuous encouragement to me. There are moments when I just feel like I can’t do anything right and I’m worn down, and just a few minutes where he takes Lucy and bounces her around, reassures me that I’m doing a good job, and insists on me taking a few minutes all to myself mean the world to me. I love that he is an involved dad. He wants to really be involved in all the parenting responsibilities and doesn’t leave me to do all the work. Sometimes it feels like he does way more than me, yet he never complains.

So I guess in this past year, I’ve learned how important it is to show how much you appreciate your significant other. I try to tell Dustin everyday how much I appreciate him and it means so much to me when he acknowledges and appreciates what I do too. Big things and small things. But the most important thing I’ve learned is, being married means you don’t have to face your fears alone. You can confide in each other and depend on one another. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. It doesn’t make you weak or needy. I’m grateful we can depend on one another. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

 

You deserve a glass of wine

Yea you heard me YOU! YOU deserve a glass of wine.

Why?!?!

Here mom’s–especially you new moms–here is why

If you’ve ever been pooped on–you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve milked through your shirt and you don’t have anything to cover your wet spots when you are at a wedding–you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve ever spent all day walking and bouncing a baby all day long–you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve seen people post that their baby (who is 6 weeks younger than yours) is already sleeping through the night and you were just up every SINGLE hour the night before- you deserve a glass of wine

If you ever went to dinner with all your friends and everyone ordered a margarita and you know you need to nurse your baby in the next hour so you’re the only one at the table that ordered a water—you deserve a glass of wine

If you spent hours making up and singing ridiculous songs to get your beautiful baby to smile– you deserve a glass of wine

If you ever counted down the seconds until your husband gets home–you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve pretended to be in the shower when you were really taking a 20 minute nap on the bathroom floor while your husband entertained the baby—you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve ever wondered if it was okay to go to bed at 7 in the evening because the baby is sleeping and you think, “If I go to bed now I might get 2 hours of sleep, but if I stay up and watch my show I might only get 20 minutes of sleep..”–then you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve ever given your baby the cold because you were sick but still couldn’t help but kiss their ridiculously adorable face–you deserve a glass of wine

If you can’t go to sleep because you can’t stop looking at that beautiful face you created– you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve yet to allow your baby to spend the night away from you–you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve been on a whole 5 dates or less since you’ve had your baby–you deserve a glass of wine

If you don’t know what coffee or dinner tastes like hot anymore–you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve spent all day trying to pump and you could only squeeze out a pathetic 6oz–you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve had to nurse your baby in a public bathroom at a restaurant or in your car in 90 degree weather–you deserve a glass of wine

If you want to pinch your baby’s adorable fat cheeks but somehow find the strength not to–you deserve a glass of wine

If your stomach looks like your still 17 weeks pregnant and your baby is 17 weeks old—you deserve a glass of wine

If you get your baby in adorable clothes and a headband just to take a picture, but then she spits up all over it before you can even find your phone–you deserve a glass of wine

If you’ve allowed your baby to sleep in the car seat wayy longer than you know you should–you deserve a glass of wine.

If you’ve ever been frozen in an awkward position on your sofa because you are too happy letting your baby sleep on top of your chest–you deserve a glass of wine.

If you don’t know how you haven’t gone into debt just looking on etsy–you deserve a glass of wine.

If you are pretty sure you are getting some sort of high when you smell your baby–you deserve a glass of wine

If you are deathly afraid to eat dairy because your afraid your going to upset your baby’s belly–you deserve a glass of wine

If you are just a half way decent parent–you deserve a glass of wine

Basically you deserve a glass of wine because you know and I know and you know how long the day can be. You know and I know and you know how happy it makes you to see your baby smile.

You deserve a glass of wine just by being a good mother. Good for you.

SAP POST

I wrote this blog on Friday evening, but I thought I accidentally deleted it, but luckily I was able to recover it so here it is:

On my way to work this morning, I heard a song that came on the radio that I hadn’t heard in a while.

“God Gave Me You”

A few lyrics from the song go like this,

“God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I could never undo”

The song couldn’t more perfectly describe how I feel about my husband.

He is truly a blessing especially with helping me with Lucy. I don’t see how single moms do it. You guys are rock stars that is for sure!!  Being a parent is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I’m only 3 months in.

My husband is a completely hands on dad.

When he comes home, he wants to hold Lucy, and talk with her, and help me in anyway he can. Just having him around to hold Lucy while I pump, or spend some time with her on the floor while I take a shower, or walk around with her while she’s getting fussy while I finish dinner is a tremendous help. 78.796% of the time I don’t even have to ask him to do these things to help me. He just does it.

Not only does Dustin help me physically with Lucy, but he mentally and emotionally makes my life so much better. Just having him in the same room with me even if he’s on his phone while I have the baby just destresses me. I can’t explain it, but just knowing he is there makes my life 100% easier.

I told him just yesterday I couldn’t do this without him. He’s quite literally my rock. I think God blessed us with our little Lucy to remind me how much of a blessing Dustin is in my life. He is the MOST kind, thoughtful, selfless, humble, sweetest human on the planet.He makes me feel loved, appreciated, and so incredibly happy. He reminds me every day how lucky we are to have a healthy beautiful baby. He is an amazing husband, friend, and father. I’m so thankful and lucky to have him in my life.

SAP POST OVER.

HAPPY SUNDAY MY FRIENDS

AND THANKS FOR READING!!

Last week before: “Back to Normal”

It’s been a while since I blogged. Been trying to pump when I get a free hand, then there is the days where I have to soothe a gassy baby, and I’ve been working from home when I’m not doing the first two.

Having a gassy baby is not fun in the slightest. I’m basically on a water and chicken broth diet. You would think I’d be back down to my prepregnancy weight with this sort of diet, but I still got this reminder handing around the bottom of my stomach lol.

We were trying to supplement with formula during the middle of the night feedings. That has been a major disappointment. We’ve attempted three different formulas and each made her extremely gassy and miserable. I would love to pump and breastfeed for as long as she needs, but this fountain of liquid gold isn’t so much a fountain anymore as much as it is a sprinkle.. I’ve pinned some lactation smoothies so maybe that will help???

This is my last week of maternity leave.  I go back Tuesday. At first I was looking forward to going back. Constant social interaction with people who can form complete sentences and actually leaving the house everyday sounded pretty good. Now, I’m pretty anxious about it. I’m going to miss spending all day with her, talking to her, holding her, feeding her, watching her sleep, and seeing that beautiful smile.   I know she’s in great hands with the people who will be watching her, but I can’t help but be a little nervous. Lucy can also be… um….particular is the word I think I’ll use. She loves to be held and loves to be moving, but only in certain positions and only for so long.. She only likes her vibration chair, but only if she doesn’t mind being put down..She wants to eat every 1.5-2 hours but only 1.5oz-2.5 ozs at a time. She wants her passy, but only if you hold it in her mouth..I guess that is pretty typical baby stuff, but if she doesn’t have her way–she’ll try to bust your eardrums lol.

She is such a beautiful little girl though. She has the sweetest smile and voice. Even her pouty face is adorable.

I know this stage of her life is temporary and while I’m ready to move on past this “newborn” stage, I know I’m also going to miss it when it’s gone. It’s crazy how big she is already at almost 12 weeks old.

That’s all for now.

I hope everyone has a great Wednesday!

mommy and daddy lunch date at the winery.

mommy and daddy lunch date at the winery.

Pictures are a throne of LIES!!!

Goodbye party for my brother who leaves for Texas this weekend.

Do you see that beautiful face?  Always looking like such a happy content lady right?

HA! I love this stinker, but social media only paints only a small picture in the day of the life of a mom and her widdle baby:

Let me tell you about this one no good day.

It was a no good very very bad day.

It was a Monday. Isn’t that how all bad days start out?

It was a Monday and it started as soon as she woke up. All day long-you couldn’t escape MISS GRUMPY GUSS (dun dun dunnnnnn)!!

Lucy was in a particularly horrible mood. I couldn’t do anything to make her happy. Feeding her would make her happy for a little bit, but my breasts aren’t made of steel so that gets rather uncomfortable after the back to back assaults on them.  Forget putting her down—that would make her more ill. I had to be up, moving, and patting her back or else—she’d probably wake the dead.

Time has never gone by slower than it did that day.

I was feeling frustrated, concerned, tired, and confused all at the same time.

I had almost convinced myself someone came into our house in the middle of the night and switched my sweet baby with one that was out to break me.

I wondered if I wasn’t producing enough milk and that was why she was so mad or if it was something in my milk that was upsetting her stomach??

I was never happier to see Dustin in my whole entire life once he got home. Like literally—even walking down the aisle I’m 93.5% sure I was happier to see him walking through the door that day then on our wedding day.. For serious..

When he walked through the door it was almost like a mirage. He looked like a knight in shining armor. His laptop case his sword and the Honda Accord his white horse.

I gave Lucy to him before he had a chance to put anything down and said, “Okay she’s yours!”

You must understand that I’m not one to pass my baby off on anyone. I’m a baby hog. I like my cuddles and kisses even when big crocodile tears are pouring out. So the fact that I gave her to her daddy like a hot potato says something.

That day however, I couldn’t hand her to Dustin fast enough.

Then I took a shower—which I decided would actually be a bath.

But before I got into the bath I poured a glass of white wine—which turned into a LARGE glass of white wine and I sat there in the tub for about half an hour—or more like 45 minutes and just took deep deep deep breaths until I was ready to come out.

Let me say this day was a rare occasion. That was about 2 weeks ago and we have not had a day that bad since then. We still have bad days, but nothing like THAT.

I’ve said this before to Dustin so I’ll share it with you. It wouldn’t be fair to all the other moms if God blessed us with the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world & the best tempered baby in the whole world.

Seriously, she’s the cutest thing and even when she’s screaming at me because her gassy belly hurts—I wouldn’t want any other baby than her. Being a mom is hard work but those pictures I capture, the ones where she is smiling and being so sweet, those are the moments that make everything perfect.

That time I almost punched an old woman at Walmart..and other stories

I feel like there is so much I want to write about, but there isn’t enough time to get all my spastic thoughts down.

6 weeks old

at the place we got married!

Let’s start with a story:

So, about a week ago I needed to make a quick trip to Walmart to pick up dog food. I was just planning on running in and out and grabbing two cans for Mickey and Minnie to have breakfast. So I’m at the entrance of Walmart trying to figure out how I’m going to get her car seat in the buggy. I guess looking back if I was just running in and out I really didn’t need a buggy, but whatever..Okay so I’m trying to figure out where I want her car seat. Do I put it up top? That doesn’t seem very safe. It’s kinda wobbly and I don’t want the whole car seat to fall on the ground if I’m not holding on tight or paying attention. Do I put in the bottom where the groceries normally go? I’m probably at the entrance for a good 5 minutes looking like a crazy trying to get this car seat in the buggy when allllllllllllllllllllllll of a sudden, this old lady walks up to me and is smiling so big at Lucy. I’ve gotten used to Lucy’s admirers that I don’t think anything of it when someone stops and takes a look at her and strikes up a conversation with me. So the old lady says that Lucy is beautiful and asks how old she is. I tell her that she’s 5 weeks and she proceeds to tell me all about her grandchildren and how she used to care for them. THEN–then as I think the old lady is about to walk away and let me finish getting Lucy in the buggy, the old lady says, “Oh look, her head is tilted sideways in her car seat, let’s just get that right back to the center shall we?” AND THEN FULL PALM TOUCHES THE SIDE OF LUCY’S FACE AND PROCEEDS TO TILT LUCY’S HEAD TO THE CENTER OF HER CAR SEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I literally could not believe what I just witnessed. A complete and total stranger just touched my baby’s face. Didn’t ask, didn’t even seem like it was a big deal, just full on touched and adjusted my child right in front of me. I was in shock, mostly I was mortified. I politely said, “oh she’s okay” and picked the car seat up as I’m pretty sure the old lady was about to adjust her head again when Lucy’s head slid back down to the side.  I very politely excuse myself to take Lucy in the store (although all I wanted to do was run home and give Lucy 7890 deep scrub baths & punch that old lady in the face). The entire walk to the dog food section seemed like eternity as I’m about in tears and on the verge of throwing up knowing some stranger’s hands touched my 5 week old baby. Lesson learned: when taking Lucy out in public-have a cover over the car seat, even when you think you are going to be quick & carry my pepper spray in case any other crazy decides to touch Lucy without my permission….UGHHHH Geezus. It’s my own fault for not having her covered in her car seat, annnnndddd she’s an old lady so she probably didn’t know any better……. but people–don’t touch another person’s child without permission. Just DON’T.

Random things: Dustin and I went on our first date since Lucy’s birth on Friday. It was just to dinner for a little over an hour. My parents came to the house and watched her. No I didn’t cry. No I wasn’t glued to my phone making my mom send me pictures of her every 3 minutes, but I did miss her. I loved one on one time with Dustin, but I was happy to go back home and hold my beautiful baby.

Random thing number 2: I started working a few hours from home this week. Just a few hours here and there to earn a little money while I’m on leave.

5 weeks old

Another story:

So I thought maybe since I moved out of the OB office I thought maybe I’d spend less time in waiting rooms and exam rooms. FALSE. JOKES ON ME. A few weeks ago, actually sometime around when I wrote my last blog, I noticed one evening when I was changing Lucy’s diaper a lump. I brushed it off at first thinking I probably didn’t know what I felt. The next time I changed her diaper I felt the lump again. I called Dustin into the room and had him feel it too just to make sure I wasn’t crazy. The lump was much bigger on one side than on the other so I knew this wasn’t some normal new baby thing. We decide to do what any crazy new parent would do and look to the internet to solve this medical mystery. Why do we do this to ourselves? I’ve finally come to the realization that the internet is an awful place. It will tell you that you will be dead in the next 45 minutes if you don’t carefully watch what you type into the Google search bar. We decide that maybe we should talk to a healthcare professional than trust Dr. WebMD. It was a Saturday evening so we were transferred to a nurse hotline. We tell the nurse all about the lump and she (probably on WebMD herself) tells us that it sounds like a boil. Now we aren’t medical professionals ourselves, but we didn’t think she had a boil. Dustin and I decided to keep a close eye on it until Monday when her doctor’s office would be open because it didn’t seem to be causing her any pain when we touched it, it wasn’t red, and in the past couple hours it wasn’t growing in size either.

Monday rolls around and we go to the pediatrician office. They should really have a punch card, after your 10^th visit get 11^th visit free!! Maybe that’s just me?? Also, I think I could marry Lucy’s pediatrician. I say this knowing good and well that she is in fact a female and I’m only attracted to males, and I’m married, yet I’d still marry her considering all these things. I bet all mom’s feel that way, especially first time moms, but seriously…God Bless all you baby and children doctors out there.

To hurry this thing along: turns out Lucy has an inguinal hernia! Something commonly found in newborn male babies, and not so common in newborn female babies. Our pediatrician tells us that this is something that will need to be surgically fixed. That’s right, my newborn baby girl, under the knife before she’s even 2 months old. Like I said people, I can’t catch a break. We get referred to go to a pediatric urologist the next day to have it looked at in more detail, and possibly set up a surgical date.

Alright, so the next day we went to see the urologist. So as we were sitting in the waiting room, I couldn’t help but feel like I did something to cause this to happen. I mean first a pregnancy that tried to stress me into an early grave, jaundice, and now this hernia. When would I ever catch a break? And really the big question on my mind- What could possibly be next??

But the universe cut me a break—turns out the doctor that we saw was able to push back in her hernia. He said that if it stays pushed in, it has the potential to heal on its own and she won’t need surgery. As you can imagine, we were thrilled. We were in shock, but we were so happy that our little baby doesn’t need surgery.

A few words–lots of pictures (how is that for a blog title?!)

Hope everyone is enjoying their Monday!

This will be a quick and painless blog entry since I’ve seemed to have wrote a novel in my last 3 or 4 entries.

In quick bulletin notes of what has been going on with the Jones crew::::

-I’m 11 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight (looks like 20 pounds if you ask me)

-At 1 month Lucy weighs 8 pounds 6 ½ oz.

-I could officially fill a river with the amount of milk I’ve leaked all over my clothes, all over Lucy, the couch, and our bed..

-I’ve watched all of The Vampire Diaries on Netflix and I’m currently in the market to find another television show to veg out on as I feed a baby every 2 hours (if I’m lucky)

-My coworkers got to meet Lucy last week. It was so great to see everyone. I know I’m going to miss being at home 24/7, but I’m actually missing work, but maybe it’s the social interaction.

-Both sets of grandparents on mine and Dustin’s side have now met Lucy.

-Baby snuggles are better than chocolate.

-Lucy now goes by Lucy goose, Lucy goosey, and Grumpy Guss

-Lucy likes to look at herself in the mirror. She also likes to give her mom judgmental looks when mommy sings.

-I’m a whole lot less conservative when it comes to breastfeeding than I thought. Sure, I still wouldn’t whip it out in the middle of the mall, but you aren’t going to see me get all embarrassed if you walk in on me feeding my child. Let’s face it, we all know what boobies look like. It is what it is.

-Baby farts are cute.

-Weirdly, I kinda..just a little bit..like a teeny tiny bit..miss being pregnant. Not enough to do it again for another 3+ years, but yea..I sort of maybe miss it some.

And that’s it..

That’s all I’m gonna write about this week.

I’m sure I’ll have something more interesting to write about next week but until then—PICTURES!!!

4th of July Fun