That time I almost punched an old woman at Walmart..and other stories

I feel like there is so much I want to write about, but there isn’t enough time to get all my spastic thoughts down.

6 weeks old

at the place we got married!

Let’s start with a story:

So, about a week ago I needed to make a quick trip to Walmart to pick up dog food. I was just planning on running in and out and grabbing two cans for Mickey and Minnie to have breakfast. So I’m at the entrance of Walmart trying to figure out how I’m going to get her car seat in the buggy. I guess looking back if I was just running in and out I really didn’t need a buggy, but whatever..Okay so I’m trying to figure out where I want her car seat. Do I put it up top? That doesn’t seem very safe. It’s kinda wobbly and I don’t want the whole car seat to fall on the ground if I’m not holding on tight or paying attention. Do I put in the bottom where the groceries normally go? I’m probably at the entrance for a good 5 minutes looking like a crazy trying to get this car seat in the buggy when allllllllllllllllllllllll of a sudden, this old lady walks up to me and is smiling so big at Lucy. I’ve gotten used to Lucy’s admirers that I don’t think anything of it when someone stops and takes a look at her and strikes up a conversation with me. So the old lady says that Lucy is beautiful and asks how old she is. I tell her that she’s 5 weeks and she proceeds to tell me all about her grandchildren and how she used to care for them. THEN–then as I think the old lady is about to walk away and let me finish getting Lucy in the buggy, the old lady says, “Oh look, her head is tilted sideways in her car seat, let’s just get that right back to the center shall we?” AND THEN FULL PALM TOUCHES THE SIDE OF LUCY’S FACE AND PROCEEDS TO TILT LUCY’S HEAD TO THE CENTER OF HER CAR SEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I literally could not believe what I just witnessed. A complete and total stranger just touched my baby’s face. Didn’t ask, didn’t even seem like it was a big deal, just full on touched and adjusted my child right in front of me. I was in shock, mostly I was mortified. I politely said, “oh she’s okay” and picked the car seat up as I’m pretty sure the old lady was about to adjust her head again when Lucy’s head slid back down to the side.  I very politely excuse myself to take Lucy in the store (although all I wanted to do was run home and give Lucy 7890 deep scrub baths & punch that old lady in the face). The entire walk to the dog food section seemed like eternity as I’m about in tears and on the verge of throwing up knowing some stranger’s hands touched my 5 week old baby. Lesson learned: when taking Lucy out in public-have a cover over the car seat, even when you think you are going to be quick & carry my pepper spray in case any other crazy decides to touch Lucy without my permission….UGHHHH Geezus. It’s my own fault for not having her covered in her car seat, annnnndddd she’s an old lady so she probably didn’t know any better……. but people–don’t touch another person’s child without permission. Just DON’T.

Random things: Dustin and I went on our first date since Lucy’s birth on Friday. It was just to dinner for a little over an hour. My parents came to the house and watched her. No I didn’t cry. No I wasn’t glued to my phone making my mom send me pictures of her every 3 minutes, but I did miss her. I loved one on one time with Dustin, but I was happy to go back home and hold my beautiful baby.

Random thing number 2: I started working a few hours from home this week. Just a few hours here and there to earn a little money while I’m on leave.

5 weeks old

Another story:

So I thought maybe since I moved out of the OB office I thought maybe I’d spend less time in waiting rooms and exam rooms. FALSE. JOKES ON ME. A few weeks ago, actually sometime around when I wrote my last blog, I noticed one evening when I was changing Lucy’s diaper a lump. I brushed it off at first thinking I probably didn’t know what I felt. The next time I changed her diaper I felt the lump again. I called Dustin into the room and had him feel it too just to make sure I wasn’t crazy. The lump was much bigger on one side than on the other so I knew this wasn’t some normal new baby thing. We decide to do what any crazy new parent would do and look to the internet to solve this medical mystery. Why do we do this to ourselves? I’ve finally come to the realization that the internet is an awful place. It will tell you that you will be dead in the next 45 minutes if you don’t carefully watch what you type into the Google search bar. We decide that maybe we should talk to a healthcare professional than trust Dr. WebMD. It was a Saturday evening so we were transferred to a nurse hotline. We tell the nurse all about the lump and she (probably on WebMD herself) tells us that it sounds like a boil. Now we aren’t medical professionals ourselves, but we didn’t think she had a boil. Dustin and I decided to keep a close eye on it until Monday when her doctor’s office would be open because it didn’t seem to be causing her any pain when we touched it, it wasn’t red, and in the past couple hours it wasn’t growing in size either.

Monday rolls around and we go to the pediatrician office. They should really have a punch card, after your 10^th visit get 11^th visit free!! Maybe that’s just me?? Also, I think I could marry Lucy’s pediatrician. I say this knowing good and well that she is in fact a female and I’m only attracted to males, and I’m married, yet I’d still marry her considering all these things. I bet all mom’s feel that way, especially first time moms, but seriously…God Bless all you baby and children doctors out there.

To hurry this thing along: turns out Lucy has an inguinal hernia! Something commonly found in newborn male babies, and not so common in newborn female babies. Our pediatrician tells us that this is something that will need to be surgically fixed. That’s right, my newborn baby girl, under the knife before she’s even 2 months old. Like I said people, I can’t catch a break. We get referred to go to a pediatric urologist the next day to have it looked at in more detail, and possibly set up a surgical date.

Alright, so the next day we went to see the urologist. So as we were sitting in the waiting room, I couldn’t help but feel like I did something to cause this to happen. I mean first a pregnancy that tried to stress me into an early grave, jaundice, and now this hernia. When would I ever catch a break? And really the big question on my mind- What could possibly be next??

But the universe cut me a break—turns out the doctor that we saw was able to push back in her hernia. He said that if it stays pushed in, it has the potential to heal on its own and she won’t need surgery. As you can imagine, we were thrilled. We were in shock, but we were so happy that our little baby doesn’t need surgery.